The Trouble with Alchemy and Bombs
by ShadowandSilverluv21
Summary: When a certain blond bomber finds himself in the world of Amestris, he's forced to rely on the most annoying 18 year old he's ever met...and it's only a matter of time before that little rat is blasted into nothing. Story is better than summary ! Though I didn't list it, yes, this will tend to be humorous.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi.~ It's surely been a while since I posted a story on here, though you may know Fullmetal Souls by my sister and I. Anyway...~ I've decided to go rampant about making stories on Deidara, the loveliest Naruto character in my opinion. Anyway(again), here goes. You'll find the story unraveling. C: Enjoy!**

Pain. Pain struck the man as his blue depths opened for the first time in a few hours. Pain was searing from his arm. Reaching over to feel if there was any blood, the same blue eyes widened. "Fuck." His arm-no, stump, had dried blood caked around it, though even more of the red irony substance flowed from it slowly, as if tantalizing him.

He immediately sat up, eyes narrowed as he glanced around for his removed arm. If he found it, it'd still be able to be sewn back on. After a few minutes of searching, though it felt like hours, he gave up. "….God damn it….!" He used his remaining arm to support himself, leaning against a tree. From the feel of shock hitting, he knew that he was already losing enough blood to easily die. Rather than sit around and waiting for his soon-to-come demise, he finally built up enough strength to walk again.

He ventured into the endless trees, looking to and fro for the Akatsuki base, like normal, though he realized that it was nowhere to be found. "What the hell…?" He muttered to himself. This was bad. He ought to have known what Land this was, he was sent to every single terrain in the regions before. Growing suspicious, he continued to walk despite the ringing pain in his stump. He glanced up from staring at the ground solemnly, noticing a couple forms up ahead. A tall form, with a visibly shorter one. His vision grew blurry. Grinning in the lightest, he found himself falling back into dizzying darkness.

"I don't care what you say, Al, there's no way that milk could _ever_ taste good out of stew!" A short young man exclaimed in annoyance. The taller form beside him, with slightly darker golden hair and eyes, sighed slightly in exasperation. "Edward, you're too stubborn…" He looked up to see his older brother had halted, squinting. "Hey, what's..?" Edward ran towards the form in the middle of the road. "Hey, this guy's missing an arm!" He called, eyes wide. The younger brother frowned. "Oh, no…" He followed after his brother.

"We have to get him to the hospital, quick!"

**(So short, boo..)**

"Urgh…" The blond muttered as he blinked his blue eyes open, squinting at the sudden burst of sunlight. After blinking away the fuzziness, he looked around; he could feel that his hair had been taken down, to his dismay, and grunted in effort as he sat up. He noticed he was in a silent room, with a rather big window. From glancing down at his arms, one was still missing. "So….it wasn't a dream, like I was hoping…." He muttered to himself in disappointment. "Oh well….I can still manage with one, though." He looked up as the door opened to reveal a stout woman. "Oh my! It seems you're finally awake!" He had a blank look on his face, appalled that the woman didn't seem shocked or even bothered in the slightest that an S-class criminal was sitting there, in a hospital bed. Keeping his guard raised, though, he kept his mouth shut as she continued to speak. "The young man and his older brother will be happy to know you're alright! My, we all thought you weren't going to make it since you lost so much blood!" She chirped. As she continued to speak while he sat there with a completely dumbfounded expression, a short male entered the room. After him, a much taller male walked in and closed the door politely.

"We heard he woke up!" _Damn, news travels fast…_

"How is he?" When the taller form noticed his expression, he sweatdropped. "I'm so sorry! My name is Alphonse Elric, and this is my brother Edward." The shorter one tipped two fingers in greeting as he spoke to the nurse. Alphonse sat beside the man. "What's your name, mister? We just found you, out in the road. We don't know how long you'd been there, but a lot of blood was missing." He said, dark golden eyebrows furrowed together in concern for the stranger.

"Ah…" He seemed taken aback by all of this, and finally things slowed down. "My name's Deidara," He managed before the two raided his personal space with a barrage of questions.

"What were you doing out there?"

"How did you lose your arm?"

"Where are you from?"

"Why is your name so weird?"

Finally, the two silenced when he smacked his hand against his face in exasperation. "Don't you kids have something else to d-"

"HEY! I'm 18, for your informa-"

"EDWARD! It's not polite to interrupt people when they're talking!"

This continued on until a metal-looking object that Deidara could not identify due to the speed of the impact it made on the shorter blonde's head. Blinking rapidly, he looked up to see a much lighter haired girl with bright blue eyes darker than his own. Her eyebrows were pulled together in obvious annoyance."Edward Elric, stop harassing people!" She said, ripping it off of the collapsed male, who looked like he was about ready to faint. Both eyebrows raised, Deidara lifted his gaze to the woman, who finally noticed he was there. "Oh! Hi there, my name is Winry Rockbell." She smiled, and inwardly he thought, _She's a demon once second, and innocent the next….damn, these people freak me out.._ His hand was balled up in a fist, and he only realized this when her gaze drifted to where his other arm was supposed to be, her eyes instantly glowing with sympathy and sadness. "How did you…?"

He sighed. "Even I don't know, unless it was that damn Kazekage that did it…." Then he squinted, remembering what had been happening before then. _He remembered being on top of the massive white bird he'd constructed, before the young leader. His vibrant red hair swayed in the night air as his pale seagreen eyes locked onto the Akatsuki member, ripping away the sand that had viciously and unevenly removed his arm. As he prepared his specialty, the massive bomb to destroy the entire village, he-_ A snap woke him from the memory. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want.." She looked like she felt bad for asking. He shook his head noiselessly before saying,

"It's nothing, I've been through worse." The shorter one, up from his daze, rose an eyebrow. "You mean you've gone through worse than losing your arm? Where _exactly _are you from that this happens so often?"

This made Deidara appalled. "How can you say something so childish? Damn, you people must have problems if you don't know how many Shinobi die every day."

"Shi-whatnow?"

His blue eyes widened. "You've got to be kidding me. Did someone mess your memories up or something?" The brothers looked at each other in confusion.

"No, what's wrong with you? Is that some kind of an alternate name for an alchemist or something?"

As this occurred, Winry sighed deeply. "Oh, boy…"

"Well, I'll explain what a Shinobi is if you tell me what an 'Alchesit' is, Shorty."

"It's 'Alchemist- WHAT did you just call me!?"

**Gah, it took me two and a half days to write something so small. xD Well, tune in next time! Read and review, please~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey all! It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm so sorry, I got caught up in school, and- well, anyway…**

**For this chapter, I've decided to timeskip a bit, perhaps a month afterwards. **

**Anyway..enjoy, R&R! ~**

"Hey! Deidara! Get up, it's almost past noon!" Ed exclaimed impatiently, bursting into the room. To the Xerxesian's surprise, the much taller blue-eyed blond was wide awake, sitting on the bed. He was noiselessly fiddling with something in his one arm, though it was unidentifiable to even guess what it was due to the distance. Upon the outburst and sudden entrance, Deidara simply raised his blue eye to look at Edward.

"Oh, it's only you, un. I thought it was actually someone worthwhile." The bomber mused, his gaze lowering down to his project as he allowed a small, sly grin to form on his lips as an annoyed look crossed Ed's face.

"Shut up! You're lucky Granny and Winry actually let you stay here." The blond muttered, crossing his arms impatiently. "Anyway, I didn't come here just to wake you up; Winry wants to talk to you."

"She can't really be pressing that matter again, could she, un?" Deidara asked, brows furrowing in the slightest. "I already gave her my answer." Ed shrugged helplessly before he said,

"I can't be sure. It's best to go see, I guess. And I'm still a little fuzzy on who this 'kaze' guy is that you said took your arm." Deidara pretended not to hear the second sentence and simply finished what he was doing, set it on the desk next to the bed, and stood. He'd been coping well, at least. As previously said, he was perfectly capable of living with only one arm; after all, he still had the Art of a Single Moment, no matter if he had one or two hands.

Upon exiting the room, Deidara noticed Winry sitting at the table, twiddling her thumbs impatiently. "There you are! Geez, I've been waiting for at least twenty minutes. I was wondering if Ed killed you in there." She said, sighing in exasperation.

"Pfft, the shorty? Kill me, un? Please, you have to be kidding. " He rolled his eye in amusement, and said, "What is this about, anyway?"

"Er…..well, I wanted to ask you. There's always-" Deidara cut Winry off before she could finish.

"Look, I appreciate the concern, but I've already told you time and time again, un. I'm not getting that fake arm. First of all, I've lived with bigger injuries than this. Second, it won't be the same; if I'm going to have two arms, I need them to be the same. I can't have one clumsy contraption and one properly working arm." He hadn't realized how harsh the insult was until it came out, and the shadow crossed her face.

"I-"

"I-it's fine. I see. I won't ask again." said Winry, casting her gaze downwards, forcing the hurt from her gaze, which instantly triggered the opposite of what she'd wanted.

"Look, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I don't want to bother you. You already have enough people to take care of that really need them." He hadn't heard himself speak of caring for anyone else but himself in….years, actually. Much before he joined the Akatsuki, even. Saying that he wasn't a higher priority than others was a long stretch.

_Sasori would probably hide in fear if he heard me say that just now. _He thought, and snapped back to reality, where both of them sat there in a somewhat awkward silence.

"Hey, Deidara! Deidara!" Al's voice sounded from down the hallway, making Winry and Deidara jump in surprise.

"Did you make this?" The bronze haired young man asked, holding out a small, clay bird; the same one that he had on his desk, Deidara realized.

"Yeah, I make those all the time, un-"

"You HAVE to show me how to make them! Please? Pleeaasseee?" The 17 year old's eyes glistened in hope, until Deidara finally broke.

"Alright, alright. Fine." Half-glancing at Winry, he said, "We'll…discuss this later, I guess, un." After a moment, Winry absently nodded. "Y-yeah." She murmured, standing.

[horizontal line- because I'm a dork]

"Ohh…..so, you do it like this?"

"No, no! You have to bend the wing like _this!_"

"…..wait…._OH! _I get it now!"

Winry paused as she heard the voices coming from Deidara's room, where he and Alphonse were making their creations. She rolled her bright blue eyes as she continued to listen, and after a few minutes found herself faintly smiling.

"Winry?" Ed approached her, his golden eyes sparked with amusement and slight mischief. "We're not spying on my brother and his 'mentor', are we?" Winry's face reddened slightly in embarrassment.

"Of- of course not, you idiot!" She said, and spun on her heel.

"Oh, that reminds me-don't ask why- I'm going to visit Rose starting tomorrow. So, ah…I'll be gone about two days, alright?" Winry felt a twinge of negativity as he said this.

"Y-yeah, I know. Don't worry, I'll be fine here with Al." Ed thought he could've picked up a hint of bitterness in her voice, but mentioned nothing of it as he nodded.

"I'd….better get some sleep, then. See you in the morning." He walked past her down the hall, leaving her alone. Once he walked out of sight and earshot, she crossed her arms, saying nothing, and instead tapping her foot on the door lightly, absently, unknowingly.

"Huh? What was that?" Deidara muttered, standing. He opened the door to see the blond girl standing there. "Winry? What's with that downcast look, un?" When she didn't answer, just looked up in surprise, he said, "I get it now. You're just jealous of how much attention I'm paying to Al instead of you."

At first, Winry was about to jump to her defense, but picked up the tease in his voice as he spun around, walking back into the room. "Get in here, then." Al glanced up with a warm, welcoming look, holding some clay.

A smile broke across her face as she nodded, and stepped inside. "R-right!"

_**So, sorry this one 's so much shorter. I hope you guys enjoyed, I plan to post my next one on Sunday, Tuesday at the latest! Have faith in me!**_


End file.
